Easing the Ache: Gay Men Recovering from Compulsive by Guy Kettelhack

By Guy Kettelhack

"An anthem of restoration that may be a beacon to an individual who's a compulsive character" (Lambda ebook Report), EASING THE pain is the 1st ebook to deal with the original wishes of homosexual males in restoration.

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Worthless. There was a rich vein to be mined here, and my recovery has, more and more, grown to depend on digging into it. A part of this richness has been another ongoing realization, one that I hadn't heard expressed with the same emphasis anywhere else: compulsive behaviors all have a common root. Nowhere was it more clear than in gay meetings that the reasons for drinking excessively were connected to the reasons that so many of us had anonymous sex obsessively. ) These reasons were also why we overrated or underrated ourselves, worked ourselves Page 8 into ulcers, and acted out in any number of other destructive, compulsive ways.

God, the pettiness of work, the stupid protocol and cross-referencing, his boss getting so goddamned upset over everything. He hates his job so much he can taste it. What is he tasting? Damn. His stomach has backed up again. He'll have to walk slowly now, move very carefully so he won't vomit. He'll will himself to calm down, hold down the rising bile. Not, he knows, that much would come up. His insides would just churn and he'd retch, maybe spit up a little water or coffee, as he does nearly every morning.

An ingenious array of ways to black out. So what's wrong with that? Actually, nothingyet. There isn't a problem, anyway, until the fabric of reality unraveled by the wanderer's escape tactics has disintegrated to such an extent that escape is no longer possible. When the trapdoors unhinge and the pain you've barricaded yourself against floods the cellar. When nothing works anymore. Such is the wanderer's temperament, however, that he doesn't stop when it doesn't work anymore. He does automatically what he knows how to do; he offers you the same menu, no matter that nothing on it satisfies.

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