Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World by Cory O'Brien

By Cory O'Brien

All our lives, we've been fed watered-down, computer models of the vintage myths. in fact, mythology is extra screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, all of it is sensible now. In Zeus delivers silly needs, Cory O'Brien, writer of Myths RETOLD!, units the tales immediately. those are impolite, crude, completely sacred texts informed the best way they have been intended to be informed: loudly, and with plenty of four-letter phrases. Skeptical? listed below are quite a few gemstones to consider:

• Zeus as soon as filled an unborn fetus inside of his thigh to save lots of its existence after he exploded its mom via being too sturdy in bed.

• the total Egyptian universe used to be stored simply because Sekhmet simply acquired too hammered to maintain murdering everyone.

• The Hindu universe is administered by means of a married couple who simply cease murdering with a purpose to throw candy dance parties…on the corpses in their enemies.

• The Norse goddess Freyja as soon as consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in alternate for one glossy necklace.

And there's extra dysfunctional goodness the place that got here from.

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Extra info for Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology

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THE PENELOPIAD Margaret Atwood Edinburgh • New York • Melbourne For my family ‘… Shrewd Odysseus! … You are a fortunate man to have won a wife of such pre-eminent virtue! How faithful was your flawless Penelope, Icarius’ daughter! How loyally she kept the memory of the husband of her youth! ’ – The Odyssey, Book 24 (191–194) … he took a cable which had seen service on a blue-bowed ship, made one end fast to a high column in the portico, and threw the other over the round-house, high up, so that their feet would not touch the ground.

She likes the quiet life, and she’ll certainly have that if he takes her to Ithaca, as he’s boasting of doing. She can help him look after his goats. She and Odysseus are two of a kind. ’ She said this lightly, but her lightest sayings were often her cruellest. Why is it that really beautiful people think everyone else in the world exists merely for their amusement? The maids sniggered. I was crushed. I had not thought my legs were quite that short, and I certainly hadn’t thought Helen would notice them.

Marriages were for having children, and children were not toys and pets. Children were vehicles for passing things along. These things could be kingdoms, rich wedding gifts, stories, grudges, blood feuds. Through children, alliances were forged; through children, wrongs were avenged. To have a child was to set loose a force in the world. If you had an enemy it was best to kill his sons, even if those sons were babies. Otherwise they would grow up and hunt you down. If you couldn’t bring yourself to slaughter them, you could disguise them and send them far away, or sell them as slaves, but as long as they were alive they would be a danger to you.

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